As promised, here is an enhanced re-telling of by far the most outrageous thing that has happened to me while riding a bicycle in Los Angeles.
Before I moved in to my cozy Echo Park life, last year let’s say, I used to live in the nastiest little bedbug infested apartment a block up from Macarthur Park. Ewww….
One day, on my journey downtown, I needed to stop at my local post-office located on 7th street, just east of Alvarado. 7th street is a popular route for cyclists both in to and out of downtown Los Angeles. The terrain is flat, the route, direct. It is in fact completely logical to ride on 7th Street. Nothing unusual here. Just riding a bicycle on 7th Street. On my way to the post office.
When ALL OF A SUDDEN:
SMACK!
SLAP!
An SUV full of rowdy young men had spotted me riding along. Unbeknownst to me, the passenger dude had rolled down his window while the driver sped up to catch me. The passenger dude then stuck his hand out of the window and as they passed, literally slapped me on the ass. HARD. Then, the backseat passengers threw their McDonalds trash at me as they squealed, shouted and laughed. Despite all of this, I had somehow managed to not fall off my bike.
I was, however, very ANGRY. Seething. PISSED.
I tried chasing them for a block to get the license plate, but gave up quickly.
Ever since then, I’ve had this “thing” about trying to get the license plate numbers from the vehicles of people who have harrassed me on the streets. As we know from my other tales of insanity (Batman on Bike, Fun with Facebook), I have a propensity to seek justice. The fact that these ass-slappers got away certainly sparked me to be extra-vigilante the next time around…
Perhaps it is for this reason that I would like to see the LAPD take the safety of cyclists into consideration. To their credit, BOTH times that I was able to get the plate numbers, resulted in me getting a police report with the charge “felony assault”…
If LABID (LA Bicycle Incident Department) were to become a reality, the LAPD would have a special division dedicated solely to the needs of cyclists. Given the extremely small statistical possibility of this, send your stories in a comment anywhere on this blog and I will keep track of them. Perhaps when collected, we can at least use them as leverage for further education and training over at LAPD on that 3rd Right – Cyclists have the right to the full support of educated law enforcement.
Ever since the day my ass was slapped, I have referred to the stretch of 7th street between Alvarado and Union as:
“Ass-Slap Alley”
Let it be known!
Tags: 7th, ass-slap alley, bike
December 15, 2008 at 3:21 am |
That sad truth is that this map could start a trend of cyclists looking for a good ass slapping, and ass slappers in cars, meeting up and doing their thing.
December 15, 2008 at 4:09 am |
Ha!
I think the best part was how we all rode down Ass Slap Alley on Friday’s All City Toy Ride. I was looking for a car’s “ass” to gently slap as we reclaimed the space, but there were so many cyclists, I couldn’t find one! Just today I spoke with two other women whose asses have also been slapped while riding. Kind of makes you want to hijack a big MIdnight Ridazz ride and just buzz the sexiest car on the street we could find. YOW! Nice Trunk! Can I put my bike in there?
December 28, 2008 at 8:45 pm |
One morning when Tom and I were riding to work over at Activision, we were being harassed by some bonehead in a station wagon. He was angry that we were in front of him waiting for a red light to turn green.
Once the light turned green, the guy sped up and swerved at us, trying to hit us. He yelled the typical anti-cyclist rhetoric that most motorists do. At any rate, we gave chase knowing that traffic up ahead was almost always at a dead stop at this hour. As we got closer to catching up, this madman must have noticed us in his rear view mirror and he began speeding down residential streets in an effort to ditch us.
And he did.
The fun part comes when a few months later, I was in my car, and I noticed the same driver in the same vehicle with the same “Burning Man” bumper sticker on the rear of his car. I took down the plate #, swearing that I would one day enact some sort of revenge. Eventually I just tossed it in the trash, I think knowing that I encountered this man again was enough of a victory for me.
December 28, 2008 at 10:08 pm |
Wow. I am pretty sure people who harrass cyclists think they will never be seen again, let alone chased by the very same cyclists. If only you had gotten a police report. Paper trail for when he does it again to someone else.
January 3, 2009 at 4:46 am |
That’s terrible to hear, and I’m sure as a female cyclist there is an even greater sense of vulnerability riding. After my little encounter I’m thinking about doing Will’s thing and recording my longer commutes when I’m alone so I can have evidence where ever I travel. If we can start getting convictions on these fucks maybe they will stop feeling so invincible.
January 3, 2009 at 7:46 am |
Wow. I thought I’d experienced every possible form of harassment on a bike, but that’s a new one to me. Although I have slapped a few cars asses when I felt they were too close — i.e., if I can smack them, they’re too damn close — or when a driver clearly has no idea I’m even there. But barroom-style bicycle/sexual harassment? I guess that’s one indignity we male riders are lucky to have missed out on.
January 6, 2009 at 1:04 am |
I’ve been ass slapped twice: once in downtown long beach four years ago and once recently in downtown LA. The ass slappers apparently think it’s fun because they always look back for a while and smile. It pisses me off more than it scares me, but if I were to catch up to these drivers, I would spit in their face.
I actually mentioned this incident as one of the concerns for cyclists safety at a Beverly Hills traffic and parking commission meeting on September 6, 2007.
January 9, 2009 at 6:55 am |
[...] was reminded of that after reading recent posts from Brayj, Gary and the Rearview Rider, which ranged from a slap on the ass to a late-night [...]
January 16, 2009 at 9:32 pm |
[...] They typically speed up, honk, yell, or Slap your ASS. [...]